October plays host to some of the greatest and most delicious holidays of the year. I don't know who decides any of this; maybe there's a committee somewhere that thought our lack of National Greasy Foods Day was one of the greatest oversights in history. Nonetheless, October's here, and so are all the yummy, dangerous, and cheese-related holidays that come with it.
October 1: Homemade Cookies Day. (Let's be serious. EVERY day is Homemade Cookies Day.)
October 2: Name Your Car Day. (Anecdote: in my friend group, you did not choose your car's name. The name was bestowed upon your car. Needless to say, there were disputes about the validity of names like "the Loser Cruiser" and "Poop McVolvo.")
October 3: Balloons Around the World Day. (On their website, when asked, "Why October 3rd?" they say, "No particular reason, but it's a great way to start to National Pizza Month." These people know the way to my heart.)
October 4: National Taco Day, World Animal Day. (Does this include all the animals that go into tacos?)
October 5: International World Teacher's Day, World Smile Day. (Make your teacher smile and you've celebrated two holidays in one! Or just draw one on their face.)
October 6: Mad Hatter Day, National Noodle Day. (Get a top hat and some penne and prepare to wreak havoc.)
October 7: Bathtub Day. (Celebrate with caution. Historically bathtubs have been the sites of both epiphanies and murder. Also, this is not to be confused with Bathtub Party Day, which is December 5th and sounds dangerous, or Read in the Bathtub Day, which is February 9th and sounds heavenly.)
October 8: Columbus Day, Canadian Thanksgiving, National Fluffernutter Day. (If your life has passed thus far without any really ecstatic fluffernutter consumption, you're doing it wrong.)
October 9: Leif Erikson Day, Moldy Cheese Day, Fire Prevention Day. (Vikings plus cheese equals fire?)
October 10: Tuxedo Day. (Here's a bunch of pictures of Joseph Gordon-Levitt rocking various tuxedos. You're welcome.)
October 11: Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work or School Day. (Side note: nobody seems to know what day this actually falls upon. The general consensus is mid-October, ish, so I say take your teddy bear to school whenever you damn well please.)
October 12: Moment of Frustration Day. (Channel the year's frustrations into this single glorious day of pillow-punching and therapeutic journaling.)
October 13: Yorkshire Pudding Day. (Cheerio! Did I do that right?)
October 14: International Dessert Day, Chocolate-Covered Insects Day. (Should these two fall on the same day? Discuss.)
October 15: Global Handwashing Day. (Think of all the wild times you could have with THIS.)
October 16: World Food Day. (Here, have a link.)
October 17: Big Yellow Hat Day. (Finally, the day has arrived wherein I can swagger proudly down the streets donning my Curious George hat and not be judged.)
October 18: Alaska Day, National Chocolate Cupcake Day. (Grab your favorite Alaskan and whip up some chocolate cupcakes. Or even your second-favorite Alaskan.)
October 20: Sweetest Day. (Only in some Midwestern states? Apparently? I don't know why this is so exclusive.)
October 21: Apple Day, Babbling Day. (My babbling is at its most incomprehensible when there are apples, so this works out perfectly.)
October 22: National Knee Day. (Do you spend enough time appreciating your knees? I didn't think so.)
October 23: National Boston Cream Pie Day. (There's a reason Boston Cream Pie gets its own day, and that's because eating it is a sensation some people associate with religious epiphany.)
October 24: United Nations Day, National Bologna Day. (Apparently United Nations Day didn't garner the right celebratory reaction, so they threw in a little something extra.)
October 25: National Denim Day, National Greasy Foods Day. (Ditto.)
October 26: National Pumpkin Day. (Did you know that the largest pumpkin ever recorded was a whopping 1,810 pounds? Now you do. And that guy probably didn't even use an umbrella-wand, HAGRID.)
October 27: Boxer Shorts Day, Swamp Buggy Race Day, Cranky Co-workers' Day. (This is the one day a year you can storm out of the office in your boxers on your way down to the swamp buggy races. Take advantage.)
October 28: National Chocolate Day. (Forget Chocolate DAY. I think we should do like the Chinese and have Year of the Chocolate.)
October 29: National Cat Day, National Oatmeal Day. (I dislike both cats and oatmeal, but have you ever Googled cats eating oatmeal? It's PRECIOUS.)
October 30: National Candy Corn Day. (Did you know there's also Bunny Corn for Easter and Cupid Corn for Valentine's Day? I can't figure out if that's brilliant or just plain wrong.)
October 31: HALLOWEEN! (C'mon, I had to.)
It's also...
Lupus Awareness Month, National Squirrel Awareness Month, LGBT History Month, National Pizza Month, Adopt-a-Shelter-Animal Month, and National Popcorn Popping Month. So try to smash those all together to create what could potentially be the strangest, most amazing party ever.
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