Animals are constantly finding new ways of being amazing. Every time you think they can't get any cuter or more intelligent, you'll see a picture of a baby otter or hear about a pig rescuing its owner. And then you'll hear about stuff like this, and it'll ratchet up the animal awesomeness meter by about 5,000%:
Animal: Dogs
What they’re doing: Using complex Russian subway systems to get to where they need to go.No joke—these strays dogs are using the Metro in Moscow to get downtown. They even obey traffic lights. As if that weren't enough, the strays have also come up with strategic ways of scavenging for food once they've finished their commute into the city. Sometimes they’ll send forward the cutest member of their pack to beg, knowing they'll be more successful than their more mangy-looking fellows. Other times they’ll bark loudly right behind someone holding a snack. The person, shocked, will drop said snack, and the strays will converge on it and run. Considering most of the dogs in my neighborhood have mastered the tasteful art of eating feces, I find this seriously impressive.
What they’re doing: Using complex Russian subway systems to get to where they need to go.No joke—these strays dogs are using the Metro in Moscow to get downtown. They even obey traffic lights. As if that weren't enough, the strays have also come up with strategic ways of scavenging for food once they've finished their commute into the city. Sometimes they’ll send forward the cutest member of their pack to beg, knowing they'll be more successful than their more mangy-looking fellows. Other times they’ll bark loudly right behind someone holding a snack. The person, shocked, will drop said snack, and the strays will converge on it and run. Considering most of the dogs in my neighborhood have mastered the tasteful art of eating feces, I find this seriously impressive.
Animal: Parrots
What they’re doing: Escaping from captivity and then teaching their wild counterparts how to speak English... including profanity. That’s right—in a few hundred years, it might not even be considered weird if you go on a tour in Australia and hear a parrot scream “ASSHAT!”
What they’re doing: Escaping from captivity and then teaching their wild counterparts how to speak English... including profanity. That’s right—in a few hundred years, it might not even be considered weird if you go on a tour in Australia and hear a parrot scream “ASSHAT!”
Animals: Splish and Splash the goldfish
What they're doing: Defying the odds by LIVING FOREVER, at least by goldfish standards. Let's bear in mind that most carnival fish—which is exactly what Splish and Splash are—live for, like, a day and a half. Then children learn that life is cruel, fleeting, and usually ends in a toilet bowl. But these two will be turning 35 years old this November. They've outlived four pet cats, and the kids that originally won them have actually moved out and started families of their own.
What they're doing: Defying the odds by LIVING FOREVER, at least by goldfish standards. Let's bear in mind that most carnival fish—which is exactly what Splish and Splash are—live for, like, a day and a half. Then children learn that life is cruel, fleeting, and usually ends in a toilet bowl. But these two will be turning 35 years old this November. They've outlived four pet cats, and the kids that originally won them have actually moved out and started families of their own.
Animal: An orangutan named Ujian
What he’s doing: Recording a CD! Ujian, an orangutan in Germany, taught himself how to whistle. Bear in mind that only 2 out of 3 humans can whistle, so for every group of three there’s one poor sucker who was bested by a German ape in captivity. Having taught himself how to whistle in an effort to snag the attention of the guy bringing him food, Ujian has now succeeded in providing a little backup whistling on his CD "Ich Bin Ujian" ("I am Ujian").
What he’s doing: Recording a CD! Ujian, an orangutan in Germany, taught himself how to whistle. Bear in mind that only 2 out of 3 humans can whistle, so for every group of three there’s one poor sucker who was bested by a German ape in captivity. Having taught himself how to whistle in an effort to snag the attention of the guy bringing him food, Ujian has now succeeded in providing a little backup whistling on his CD "Ich Bin Ujian" ("I am Ujian").
Animal: Cats called MUNCHKINS
What they’re doing: Um, EXISTING. Have you seen these things? They’re like the cat version of wiener dogs, with their short legs and irrefutable cuteness. Apparently they’re controversial, too; when Munchkins were recognized as a cat breed, some protested because they feared Munchkins would develop spinal and joint problems due to their shorter stature, and that people were encouraging a “genetic disease” by making it an official breed. However, it turns out Munchkinsare the result of a naturally occurring genetic mutation and the fact that they’re a little low to the ground doesn't seem to be interfering with their health, so they're able to continue existing adorably. I'm not even a cat person (and also I’m very allergic), and I would sell my own arm to have one.
What they’re doing: Um, EXISTING. Have you seen these things? They’re like the cat version of wiener dogs, with their short legs and irrefutable cuteness. Apparently they’re controversial, too; when Munchkins were recognized as a cat breed, some protested because they feared Munchkins would develop spinal and joint problems due to their shorter stature, and that people were encouraging a “genetic disease” by making it an official breed. However, it turns out Munchkinsare the result of a naturally occurring genetic mutation and the fact that they’re a little low to the ground doesn't seem to be interfering with their health, so they're able to continue existing adorably. I'm not even a cat person (and also I’m very allergic), and I would sell my own arm to have one.
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